Do only those good deeds which you can do, for Allah does not get tired (of giving reward) till you get tired, and the best deeds to Allah are the incessant ones though they were few.
Prophet Muhammed صلى الله عليه و سلم
I still remember the first time I ranked first and top of my class back in grade 7, it is one of my core memories owning its own synapse in my brain directly fed by the conversation I had with my mom about it. That one talk that hold its essence of preciousness in my life.
I was completely convinced that the main reason behind me reaching the first position truly lies in the fact that many of my top achiever colleagues had transferred to other systems or schools. That I replaced them and didn’t really earn it, I just climbed my way to their previously earned places. I poured all my thoughts to my mom, she kept listening, silently gazing at me and then slapped me with the whole blatant truth straight to my face. I was anxious and overwhelmed with this great achievement, that I began detaching myself from it, even actively denying it and depriving myself from the credit, the effort that earned me what I deserved. She told me: I know it’s hard to rank first, and you know it’s even harder to maintain it, so instead of focusing on the false reasons that only mislead you, focus on your part, the small consistent pragmatic everyday steps you take and write them down. Track your process, prove to yourself not anyone else that you are worthy of what you earn, keep it small but consistent, and enjoy it…
I ranked first and top of my class until I graduated high school.
This conversation saved me not only because it helped me redirect myself and got me to where I am so grateful for, but because it sheds the needed light to guide me everytime I lose direction. It reminds me that seeking to elevate my rank in this life, the hereafter, witnessing any progress or process of amelioration needs consistent work and disciplined mindset. That showing up is not a choice but how we show up is the determinant of our success. The daily small choices we make will build up and eventually get us to where we aim.
Any big movement, any leap of faith can actually be broken down to many small moments of piled up efforts and invested hard work and dedication that have previously paved the way to prepare you for your leap. I find this very resonating with the month of Ramadan and the pressure we put on ourselves to go big on all kinds of worship and ending up losing interest and focus even before the halfway mark. As usual, I dashed to my mom’s room to pour all my anxious thoughts, saying that I don’t know what I could do more and that I’m afraid of falling behind in my prayers, that it would be a shame that my efforts would decline in the month of doing more. And again, God bless her, she told me to keep doing what I already do everyday small and consistent, specially as the month is still kicking off and watch it all build up and ripple and noticing how these acts will definitely hype me up and encourage me to channel the excessive and more beautiful acts of worship through me.
So, thank you mom, I owe you so much.
So here I am doing and holding onto what I already do, feeling grateful to be already guided to seek more during everyday, renewing my intentions in every act and word, investing in being more present and aware, more sincere, more responsible, more disciplined and resilient and constantly reminding myself with the true why the purpose and willing to enhance the how as I walk my way. And of course, taking a brief moment to internalize it and sink the deep gratitude that stems from it all.
This week’s goodness…
Feel the Farha 